He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
