Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
