Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
