Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
