No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
