i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
