His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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