I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
