i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
