I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
