Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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