Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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