Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
