oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
