I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
nutella sex= disaster
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
