They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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