Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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