Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
