Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
