I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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