If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Randomize
