I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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