IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
