so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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