dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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