whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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