yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
