so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize