A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
