I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.