Texts From Last Night

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  (425): View more from Washington

  Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.

  (425): View more from Washington

  'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas

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  (425): Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor. (425): 'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas http://tfl.nu/4u1g
  Replies (9) Good night (1890) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick

  (541): View more from Oregon

  the rest of him looks just as crooked

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  (503): I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick (541): the rest of him looks just as crooked http://tfl.nu/114k
  Replies (14) Good night (637) Bad night (4060)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?

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  (336): Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone? http://tfl.nu/bgt3
  Replies (22) Good night (8207) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.

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  (917): we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender. http://tfl.nu/r1fg
  Replies (24) Good night (1865) Bad night (11151)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls

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  (517): He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls http://tfl.nu/0ix2
  Replies (3) Good night (3214) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.

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  (407): I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin. http://tfl.nu/suvt
  Replies (9) Good night (1767) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.

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  (303): U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up. http://tfl.nu/8u2m
  Replies (3) Good night (1116) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.

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  (206): What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world. http://tfl.nu/0k4m
  Replies (11) Good night (1377) Bad night (486)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina

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  (225): Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina http://tfl.nu/plxw
  Replies (4) Good night (2541) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.

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  (208): You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian. http://tfl.nu/g8r4
  Replies (12) Good night (2710) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"

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  (425): I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?" http://tfl.nu/i35w
  Replies (9) Good night (3700) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.

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  (402): I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it. http://tfl.nu/oran
  Replies (6) Good night (771) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile

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  (570): Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile (1-570): FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile http://tfl.nu/2z1a
  Replies (0) Good night (937) Bad night (246)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.

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  (540): Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today. http://tfl.nu/qos3
  Replies (3) Good night (435) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  .It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort

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  (978): .It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort http://tfl.nu/ljpb
  Replies (1) Good night (245) Bad night (299)

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