so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
