You're my little dorito
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize