Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.

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  (314): I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster. http://tfl.nu/3vkx
  Replies (22) Good night (4369) Bad night (687)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  if you ask that question again our friendship is over

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  (205): i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high" (1-205): if you ask that question again our friendship is over http://tfl.nu/wy8m
  Replies (19) Good night (3889) Bad night (880)
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  (607): View more from New York

  When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.

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  (607): When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up. http://tfl.nu/oiun
  Replies (10) Good night (4772) Bad night (1085)
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  (818): View more from California

  They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...

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  (818): They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps... http://tfl.nu/7lmv
  Replies (15) Good night (2672) Bad night (4438)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.

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  (612): She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me. http://tfl.nu/y2d7
  Replies (5) Good night (1426) Bad night (2236)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"

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  (713): He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality" http://tfl.nu/r05f
  Replies (10) Good night (3461) Bad night (1320)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..

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  (503): I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions.. http://tfl.nu/v6no
  Replies (2) Good night (1997) Bad night (1206)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I'm trying to make a sex playlist

  (916): View more from California

  record yourself crying and put it on a loop.

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  (510): I'm trying to make a sex playlist (916): record yourself crying and put it on a loop. http://tfl.nu/f4y5
  Replies (12) Good night (3435) Bad night (1393)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.

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  (631): Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions. http://tfl.nu/8mk0
  Replies (10) Good night (1680) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.

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  (607): No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk. http://tfl.nu/h3m8
  Replies (14) Good night (2423) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?

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  (859): it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone? http://tfl.nu/jw1z
  Replies (7) Good night (889) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess

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  (757): think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess http://tfl.nu/lfhg
  Replies (5) Good night (790) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.

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  (570): He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point. http://tfl.nu/lnts
  Replies (4) Good night (637) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  God I hope the sex was good.

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  (814): He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie. (1-814): God I hope the sex was good. http://tfl.nu/1yhc
  Replies (6) Good night (544) Bad night (1100)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.

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  (469): I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins. http://tfl.nu/edtw
  Replies (1) Good night (790) Bad night (561)

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