I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.