Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
