You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
