He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Are we in a gay sports bar?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
