Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize