Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
