OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
