Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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