Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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