Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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