I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
