I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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