All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
