I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
