so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
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She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
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Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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