Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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