I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
