Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize