I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
