did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
