whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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