They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
