When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
