i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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