Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
