we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
