you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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