i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
