you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There r osticjed everywhere
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize