Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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