Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
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On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
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I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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