i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
