I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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