It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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