I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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