You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
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