Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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