Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
