smell my finger.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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