? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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