Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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